I saw the ever-dashing Dr. C. this morning. The pathology report showed no cancer cells at all, not even DCIS. He did say that the pathologists only examine a very small amount of tissue, so there could be some in there, but it's a good report, nevertheless, of course.
So I am relieved. This is definitely Up on the rollercoaster ride. And given who I am, I was not surprised that my mind went immediately to the thought: So I probably didn't need to have the mastectomy after all. Maybe I should have listened to Dr. C., who had advised exactly that.
Yet there would have been no way to know, right? Hindsight is no better than blindsight, really. You might as well say, as I've thought, "If only the oncologist hadn't put that fear into me," or "If only I hadn't had cancer in the first place." And if only I were wealthy or had a rent-stabilized apartment or had a great boyfriend. Ha.
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