I was told to try calling for the MRI results late this afternoon (Tues), but when I did just now, the nurse {?} said the results "are still being reviewed" and I should call tomorrow afternoon instead. It's a funny thing that today I was not too exercised about waiting for these results, still triumphing over my fear of MRI's yesterday. In fact, I was in a good mood all day, an I-can-handle-it, warily optimistic mood, and was quite productive with work.
But as soon as I heard that the results were not ready, anxiety kicked in. Was it bad news and they wanted to check and make sure before talking to me? Was the doctor not available to give me the bad news? Or did it just mean that no one had looked at the report yet? No way to know.
Again I focused on a detail: I'm supposed to have lunch out and see a movie with a friend tomorrow, which means I'll have to call for the news on a cell phone, where I often can't hear well. Do I want to be with my friend if/when I get bad news? No, peculiar as it may sound, I'd rather be alone.
But I'm not going to stay by my home phone all afternoon in a state of high anxiety. Better to see the movie and hope for the best, I think.
Oh, I wish this part could be over so we can get to work on what needs to be done to save my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment